Hey! My first update on Blogspot. I'm switching because I don't like that Xanga requires you to register to leave a comment - now whoever you are, you can comment freely! The actual update is fairly mundane, sadly...just a little Aaron information.
I keep telling everyone how work is keeping me so busy and about all this work I have. Have you ever wondered what I'm actually doing, and especially how I manage to do this and still be so destitute? Be honest, now. Anyway, these are the reasons I have abandoned my family so.
#1: Big Block
I've been working with Big Block since day 1, basically. I started work with them late 2002 and provide constant programming support for them. It sounds weird, but they never run out of things to update. I'm fairly confident this work will be here as long as I want it to be.
#2: HB Machine
Those of you with strong recollection skills might remember that HB Machine was my "college job". They have been in touch with me recently about updating some software that I wrote while I was working there...yeah it's pretty ridiculous. They are still using this antiquated, novice, poor-quality software that I wrote while I was in school. Anyway, it seems possible that I'll be doing a significant amount of work for them. I had to get up early today to finish off a proposal, so I better get the work. Yay, money.
#3: Poker Kingz
This is the newest client to add to the list. It's a fairly cut and dry thing - they're paying us to write some software for them, we'll probably finish early next year. They have high aspirations, but for whatever reason I'm not excited or optimistic about this work. Don't tell them that!
#4: HAR Management for ODOT
It's ironic - this is the work with the most potential that I pay the least attention to. This is the software for the traffic department (if you talk to me I'm sure I've mentioned it). The plan has been, for a long time, to finish it and then sell it. Progress has been sluggish to say the least -- it can be difficult to work on something without any guaranteed payout. Or maybe I'm just lazy. Either way, if we don't finish this by early next year we might lose our opportunity. By we I mean mostly me.
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I guess I'll take a little more time and give a life update. My friend from Colorado (Dan) is still living with me (he's only been here about two weeks). He's trying to find work, and by my standards has had decent luck. He'll be moving out once he finds work. Matt Johnson, everyone's favorite solo pianist, might join me in my glorious abode while he studies how to teach English (in Japan) for an undetermined amount of time. I'm still playing soccer 2-3x a week, and still on a pretty good streak of no serious injuries in soccer, well, ever. I miss spending time with all the nephews and nieces and am going to have to make time to see them soon - maybe in November I'll return to the good ol' schedule or some variation.
Still single of course, though the US customs agent asked my 3-4 times if I got married in Vietnam. My answer was the same every time: a look of incredulity followed by a definite no. I don't understand why he felt he might get a different answer if he asked it more than once. I suppose I was pretty exhausted, maybe I wasn't putting enough enthusiasm into my rejection so my "No" came out as "Ask again later" in some magic eight-ball sort of way. Oh, while I'm on the subject of Vietnam I have a sizable pile of souvenirs sitting on my floor to distribute. Also on the subject and Vietnam and my being single I'll clear something up: Yes, I met a very nice girl in Vietnam. She spoke German, and the three years of German I took in high school meant we could communicate very well. Yes, we're staying in touch and no, there is basically no chance of being anything "more" than friends: she lives in another country and we don't share a primary language. How could I ever be with someone that didn't appreciate my extraordinary vernacular? She is a great person though, and I'm glad we're staying in touch. There's even a remote possibility I'll go to Germany with some friends and visit - then I can really put my German to use! Deutsch fuer das gewinnen!
Speaking of appreciating my vernacular, I accidentally met an interesting person who has unintentionally motivated me to get back into reading (yes, you Lydia) - I've been slacking off because I have these 3 books at the top of my personal reading queue, none of which I'm really that interested in but all of which I want to read. I've decided I'll just read the books I want to read now, and I'll get to those books when I want to read them. So I went and got "The Fountainhead" (Ayn Rand), "The Alchemist" (Paul Coelhe) and "No Boundaries" (Ken Wilber). I also want to read "The Psychology of Self-Esteem" (Nathaniel Branden) but the library doesn't have the book, so I'll have to buy it. Oh, the last two books were chosen because I decided to listen to this dialogue between Wilber and Branden and it reignited an interest in their philosophy. I'm considering posting a review of the discussion as my next post.
On the larger scale of things...I'm very happy with life, and with mine. I get frustrated because I have a very clear vision of the person I want to be and I'm not always that person, but that's probably part of life. One of the advantages to being single is that it gives you a great opportunity to grow as a person. Very often, when people find someone they love they lose themselves in that person - for a while anyway. Instead of identifying themselves as an individual they identify themself as part of a pair, and life is for the enrichment of that pair.
Well, now you all know why I never get any work done on project #4. I wanted to take a 1/2 break and it's been almost an hour. Oh well, blogging can be important too. Hope you enjoyed the read, reader. Sincerely, the writer.
Edit: Immediately after finishing this post I checked my email. I had some mail from HB Machine (#2) basically saying whatever I recommend is what they'll do. Yay, money.
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12 comments:
Yay. Welcome to blogger! I feel quite honored to be mentioned in your very first post and even more to know I've somehow impacted another's life, even unintentionally and even in something as silly as motivating one to read. hehe
"How could I ever be with someone that didn't appreciate my extraordinary vernacular?" hahahaha, very funny. I wrote a blog entry about that, if you're ever bored: http://hiimlydia.blogspot.com/2006/08/69-i-no-speak-english.html
Isn't that sad? About couples, that is. It sort of makes me wonder too, about how self-centered people fare in relationships.
Anyway, despite your frustrations, I think you're lucky - at least you have that "very clear vision" of who you want to be. That's something...
Happy blogging!
Aaron!!!
How wonderful - you can now link into my Blog which will hopefully provide you with a glimpse of my inner workings!! (scarey - really!!
Glad you are home WITH your extraordinary vernacular intact!
As far as that "clear vision of who you want to me" - it will change with every breath and this is good because it keeps us fresh!
Let's chat soon!!!!
Bonnie
Back to reading your blogs, since you wouldn't tell me how 'Nam was in any detail. It's fair, I guess, since the email you sent out was pretty large. There's a lot of folks you'd have to repeat all of that too! I'd get tired of telling it myself.
Let me know if you still need help with #3, I hope to have a vast amount of spare time to dedicate to constructive things very soon, so in a way you'd be helping me as well, even if I just give pointers and advice. The technical achievements are definitly in your grasp, I believe.
When we can't live up to who we want ourselves to be, I think the clear options you have are A) changing your self-standards, or B) change yourself. I think both of them are extreme and unfair to yourself, because it just sets you up for failure. Finding a compromise through a third, unseen alternative is a better approach I think. If I could guess, there is something you are doing or not doing that conflicts with the vision of your ideal self. Perhaps there's something you could do to motivate/condition yourself into doing the action that you feel you should be doing - or some way to turn the conflicting activity into an activity that promotes your growth and helps align you with your ideal self.
I like this background much better.
Bloody hell, "Login and Publish" really means "Publish".
-Logan
Aaaaaron!!
I just listened to the first two and I really just want to cry. Really. CRY! I hate this third party interpretation of Ayn Rand and her life
I'm truly disgusted that Hank Rearden was modeled after NB... and I'm not sure if I have the heart to listen to the other two yet. I think I'd much rather stick with my own interpretations of objectivism and the idealistic vision I had had of its author, as gleaned from her novels and her papers...
Half the time, I was just gasping in disgust at the stuff he was saying. He seems to essentially be trying to justify his own importance and role in what he deems is a watershed moment in history... Can we say "self-delusion"...???
Poor Ayn Rand!! I would have been as disgusted with myself as she must have felt.
*sobbing*
=X, However, thanks for putting them up (seriously, ooh, my own download page! hehe) - hopefully it wasn't too time consuming. I didn't know you hadn't read The Fountainhead. So what motivated you to listen to these interviews in the first place and what'd you think of them?
Hmm, do you know if Leonard Peikoff had any interviews like this?
Lydia - glad you feel honoured :). It is rather ironic that you have that post up - exactly what I'm talking about. I was being slightly tongue-in-cheek with my vernacular comment, as I don't pretend to understand the motivations of love. Who knows, maybe I don't need to talk to someone to love them. Yeah, I don't think so either. That is a pretty big roadblock. I think there is wisdom in the idea of mutual admiration in romantic love(section 1-2 of those Branden interviews, I think), but I haven't finalized my opinions in the area yet.
What do you mean when you say you wonder how self-centered people fare in love? That they are less likely to be "absorbed" in the relationship? I can't say, I don't have a lot of experience with self-centered people.
I do feel lucky to know who I want to be :). Fortunately it doesn't quite change with every breath, Bonnie :p.
Ah Logan, you always know just what to say to make me go...wtf??? I think you have a slight misconception in your first sentence - I certainly can live up to who I want to be. We all can, since it's only a matter of self-control. We have the power to make any decision when choosing our own action. We don't have the power to make any action (ie I can't jump from roof to roof and give my friends free cable), but I have the power to choose the action I will take of those available. Living up to who we want to be should simply be choosing the right action to the best of our ability.
Hmm, I don't know that it's possible to change my self-standards (as per idea A). Do I have the power to change who the person I want to be is? It's a good question. That said, you're still on the money with your conclusion. I hate the cheesiness of accepting that I don't choose to motivate myself to, let's say, tone down my sarcasm. I hate the cheesiness that I have affirmations that I read to remind myself to act in the way I want to act.
Good to hear from you though, and I'm glad you like the background. I'll probably change it since I didn't create it, but I do hate my Xanga background. Decisions...
Oh, and #3 is on indefinite hold (very good for me, actually). I'll talk to you about it soon, but it's quite possible I'll be making the trip south to you soon, possibly even this month. If you're free, I may take you along for some action at HB.
Aaron, haha you are too nice to me with promoting my music =) But thank you =) Maybe I will change my blog too :O :O
Aaron,
I guess I should have said when we aren't as opposed to can't. To put it again, when we aren't living up to who we want to be...
I should have filled in some more. I'm sure if there's mechanics you can use to help you achieve your desired result, you'd have done them already - After all, you're hardcore. Right? Yeah, we have the ability to make any descision, but sometimes there's a resistance towards certain choices. If ose is forced to make a descision concerning something where choice resistance is very strong, I think one is setting themselves up for eventual failure. The optimal route is to setup our descisions (or the conditions that belong to them) such that the difficult choices are easier.
Hopefully that makes a little more sense.
Phew - I finished the last two. I'm eagerly anticipating your glowing review. (but no pressure.) ;)
ahem, i just finished reading your entire xanga (sorry for the multiple, sometimes irrelevant commenting). i swear i'm really not a crazy stalker, but it was really interesting. =)
anyway, why am i telling you i read it? cause it's 5am and you just commented on mine! so what else is there to do at 5am?
lol, ok i think i mistyped and i question whether it matters or not, but to clarify - I had meant posts on my old xanga site, not blogger. I love comments on blogger. ;)
Logan,
Good use of HTML skills on that bolding. I'm impressed, ASP.Net must be teaching you something :p.
Anyway, don't overestimate me (hardcore). I'm semi-lazy and I certainly don't know all the mechanics to help me achieve my desired results.
I hear what you're saying, and I don't know how I feel about it. "If we set ourselves up such that we're forced to constantly make difficult decisions, we are headed for failure". The most amazing people, though, are the ones who can continually make those difficult decisions. On Lydia's site we were discussing passion and motivation and the idea that even if we have a strong desire/passion to achieve a goal, getting there might not be easy...maybe there is no easy path (bah but I think she erased the topic). I'm sure you and I agree that you shouldn't drop the goal simply because there is no easy way to get there. At the same time, it's not better to take the hard path just for the sake of it (unless you really want to develop your work ethic or something).
I'm not trying to split hairs or be contentious, it's just after some thought I believe there are paths that require making a choice that leads to difficult action. I'll take a second to clarify as well, since I don't like the use of the phrase "choice resistance". We should always make the choice we know is best. Overcoming choice resistance (to me) doesn't mean choosing something you feel isn't correct for some reason, it means choosing what you know is correct and overcoming the resistance because of the repercussions of that choice.
Lydia, you should probably give me your email address. I want to respond to some of your comments about my Xanga, but it seems silly to do so on that Xanga. It also feels weird to put it on your blog, but I can do that if you want. You can email it to me if you don't want to post your email online: I'm on hotmail.com as aaronino. Also, you did say Xanga, so I understood completely :).
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