I recently picked up a book on tape at random from the library - "Tuesdays with Morrie". I thought it sounded interesting, and that perhaps I'd find a little-known gem that I could share with friends and family. It turns out that this book, unbeknownst to me, has already been read by everyone. Seriously, everyone I've mentioned it to has read it or can run me through at least its premise.
For those of you not in the loop, it details the story of a man too caught up in his career and life to realize that he's not living his life happily. He visits his old college professor who has been diagnosed with a Lou Gehrig's disease (ALS) and doesn't have a lot longer to live. It's about the life lessons the older man imparts to the younger. If it sounds trite or overly emotional, first...try not to be so jaded! It's an emotional, touching story, yes, but there really is something to learn: mostly due to the professor's practical wisdom - though his skills with aphorisms are also impressive. We might also learn from the drone-like everyman the author presents himself as. I have doubts as to the accuracy of his self-portrayal - it seems overly harsh, almost crafted to provide a more poignant contrast. Can the character the author portrayed transform enough to write such a wise and emotionally intelligent book? Ultimately it's unimportant, and perhaps the exaggerated portrayal widens the scope of his audience.
Mark Twain said the difference between fiction and non-fiction is that fiction has to be believable. This story could be dismissed as unlikely if it were fiction, so it's foundation in truth is fundamental. Read the book if you're interested, it's good, but let's move on to theoretical discussion.
I suppose the best place to start is with the foundation of Morrie's (our elder sage) life philosophy: Love one another. If we act from love and kindness for one another, we will have a happy life - or at least, a life we don't regret. Recognize the importance of relationships in our lives, and cultivate them. It is through our relationships with others that we can show who we are, and find happiness. Here's a few direct quotes:
So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half asleep, even when they are busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning.
"Dying is one thing to be sad about, living unhappily is another thing."
"The most important thing in life is to learn how to give out love, and to let it come in..."
That last point was really an important one to Morrie - he believed the foundation of our happiness was love. It's difficult for me to espouse this philosophy, even though I may agree with it: I blush just saying "Love is the answer". Maybe because it sounds imprecise or vague. It doesn't sound like someone who prides himself on his logical conclusions would say, it's too illogical, too emotional. Maybe there are too many people whose life philosophy we might quickly dismiss as misguided who say the same thing..."Love is the answer, man!" I can just imagine this line coming from a stereotypical hippie in some comedy routine, where he espouses the virtues of free love in between puffs of his joint. If there are people we disagree with who hold a viewpoint, it doesn't make the viewpoint wrong...not too mention media and entertainment aren't exactly known for historical accuracy or intellectual betterment.
It's not weak to talk about love, and it's not weak to want or to seek human connections. It's easy to make fun of, especially in our culture which holds no values sacred and no topic immune from the comic's wit. Unfortunately, it might be perceived weak to espouse the virtues of a love and caring based life. Modern society does not encourage the values that will allow us to live happily - there is instead a focus on possessions, on money, and on the trivial. It takes strength to follow a value in the face of criticism and mockery, and it takes strength to take a stand, to state your position plainly and proudly.* It takes strength to find and follow your own values.
"The culture we have does not make people feel good about themselves. and you have to be strong enough to say if the culture doesn't work, don't buy it."
Morrie had much to say in criticism of modern culture. Our culture does not necessarily have to be the way it is: culture is not just a deterministic extension of human nature. We can decide for ourselves if the things are is way that things should be. I've talked at length about the necessity of creating our own value systems - of living life the way we think is right - if we don't find a moral system that "fits". I see this idea that culture is something we can reject if it doesn't work as a similar idea (he came up with it before me).
"If you can accept that you can die at any time - then you might not be as ambitious as you are."
We really can die at any time. We'll all die someday. If you want to be happy when you die, make sure you live your life in a way that if you do die tomorrow, you won't die wishing you'd lived. Don't put off living life for the sake of anything.
Conclusions
Morrie's "one size fits-all" philosophy might seem at odds with my constant emphasis on finding our own answers. His emphasis on love might also seem separated from my emphasis on logic. I don't think this is the case. I think Morrie has provided a practical, livable philosophy. Where I primarily provide broad foundational philosophy: a how-to for value system creation, Morrie instead provides a working value system. I like his value system. I don't know if it will work for everyone, but that doesn't make it wrong. It's certainly extremely relevant in modern society - it's going to reach more people than my last post (not just because it was a bestseller).
* I went to a meeting for the "Intellectuals of Portland" recently, and was annoyed with a technique in the discussions: a refusal to state one's position clearly, or a refusal to admit an actual viewpoint. It's very easy to stand back and to criticize the faults or flaws of a particular stance, because every stance involves the acceptance of some things and the rejection of others. If we avoid actually taking a stance, we can avoid this criticism...but it's very counter-productive. Just because something cannot be criticized does not make it right, and just because something can be criticized does not make it wrong. Philosophy and morality are in a class of topics where the same answer can and will have multiple right answers.
One could say that I fall into the category of thinkers that I'm assailing when comparing me to Morrie. I provide broad foundational advice without actually stepping into the muck of controversy to come up with an actual system. Morrie has taken a stand, and created something good, and something controversial.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Sunday, May 03, 2009
Living meaningfully in a godless world
"If there is no afterlife, what is the purpose of life? How can we find meaning in an existence without knowing there's something after this, something to live for?"
Scientific progress and better educational systems to explain them have slowly chipped away at the realm over which religion defines the rules for our reality. Somewhere in this process, our culture seems to have reached a bit of a tipping point. There are enough educated people now who openly question religion validity that it's become a mainstream issue. Instead of turning to a higher power, more people are looking within for answers first. As a consequence, more people have come to the conclusion that we may not have an existence after this life or as I personally believe, that the existence of an afterlife is unimportant to how life should be lived. This can be difficult to come to terms with, because if nothing follows life it can seem to take away the meaning of life. It doesn't. Life should be lived to be meaningful in and of itself, regardless of the existence of an afterlife.
What does it even mean, that life should be meaningful in and of itself? How is that even possible, if our life is extinguished the second we stop living? Why should we even care about making a difference in society that likely won't change much in our short time here? To me, the answer to this question is simple...almost a cop-out in its simplicity: it's a personal decision. We make our own decision about how to define meaningful. I wrote at length here about how whether we realize it or not, we're personally accountable for the decisions we make about how to live our life: this idea is simply builds off that concept to apply it on a philosophical level.
Theories abound about what the afterlife might be, but generally they share a common theme - it'll be better if you live "right". If we can let go of the idea that it's the end of our destination that is important and accept the importance of the journey itself, it becomes clear that our focus should be on life and not post-death. What does it mean that life should be meaningful in and of itself? It means an acceptance that life is its own reward. It means an appreciation and reverence for life, it means an acceptance of the potentials of our existence.
"How can we make our own priorities without a foundation? How can we know what is important and what we would find meaningful?"
The foundation for our priorities comes from our experiences and from our reason (or mind or consciousness, name it as you like). This is a very different step from the last 800 years, where religion provided societies and cultures with a shared moral foundation. We've all had different experiences and we all have different capacities and types of reason, and these fundamental differences will lead to a varied culture with different moral systems. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but this does allow religion to continue playing a role in our lives in the future - our spiritual leaders can provide well-reasoned moral foundations that can be shared among those who accept them. We can all, even now, follow an established faith or develop our own. In my experience, people willing to honestly devote thought and time to the development of their own systems generally come to share principles found across religions. This indicates a shared value system inherent in all of us: that is, these values are part of the experience of being human. The source of this shared humanity isn't material for this post, but author Joseph Campbell has a lot to say about similarities between cultural moral foundations in a number of his books (and in his Power of Myth interviews).
So if we decide to look within to find our priorities, how exactly do we do that? How can we know what is important to us? Unfortunately, that's a question I still don't have an answer for. We may all have to find our own personal solutions.
We use our priorities when we make decisions in life. We look within for answers, and we use our priorities to guide us. For me, my moral priorities come from a desire to live a life that I can be proud of. I want to be able to say, "Given what I knew when I made a decision, I'm not ashamed of the choices I made". I've tried not to shirk the burden of increasing what I know so that as my life continues I can make better informed decisions. It seems I'm always learning (whether I try to or not) and it's important to use our new knowledge to re-evaluate our priorities.
Let me finish by saying that it's not necessarily better to develop your own moral system. People have devoted their lives to this, and many religions have been founded from the teachings of these individuals. A wholehearted commitment to follow the moral framework laid out in a holy book that appeals to you is just as valid as developing your own. (The book Siddhartha by Herman Hesse is a fictional work on this topic)
"Well, we're still going to die, and nothing that we do is going to matter after that. Why bother with all this?"
Yes, we're going to die. It's possible that once we die, there's nothing more. Why should we bother troubling ourselves with all of this?
The simple truth is...with awareness, it's not an issue we can ignore. Once we recognize the power we have over our own life, I don't believe we can live a contented life ignoring that fact. In essence, we're not "troubling ourselves with all of this", instead we're going down the only path that can allow us to be truly happy in our existence here. A blissful ignorance is no longer possible with the recognition of personal power.
And that, really, is why it's worth bothering. Whether or not we have an afterlife is irrelevant to our time here: all we can do is make the most of our time on earth. Ultimately, we all define how to do that in our own way.
As I mentioned earlier, my answer to making the most of our time means living a life I'm proud of - not because of the pride itself, but rather the deep-seated contentedness and happiness that comes from a life well-lived.
Have you found your answer?
Scientific progress and better educational systems to explain them have slowly chipped away at the realm over which religion defines the rules for our reality. Somewhere in this process, our culture seems to have reached a bit of a tipping point. There are enough educated people now who openly question religion validity that it's become a mainstream issue. Instead of turning to a higher power, more people are looking within for answers first. As a consequence, more people have come to the conclusion that we may not have an existence after this life or as I personally believe, that the existence of an afterlife is unimportant to how life should be lived. This can be difficult to come to terms with, because if nothing follows life it can seem to take away the meaning of life. It doesn't. Life should be lived to be meaningful in and of itself, regardless of the existence of an afterlife.
What does it even mean, that life should be meaningful in and of itself? How is that even possible, if our life is extinguished the second we stop living? Why should we even care about making a difference in society that likely won't change much in our short time here? To me, the answer to this question is simple...almost a cop-out in its simplicity: it's a personal decision. We make our own decision about how to define meaningful. I wrote at length here about how whether we realize it or not, we're personally accountable for the decisions we make about how to live our life: this idea is simply builds off that concept to apply it on a philosophical level.
Theories abound about what the afterlife might be, but generally they share a common theme - it'll be better if you live "right". If we can let go of the idea that it's the end of our destination that is important and accept the importance of the journey itself, it becomes clear that our focus should be on life and not post-death. What does it mean that life should be meaningful in and of itself? It means an acceptance that life is its own reward. It means an appreciation and reverence for life, it means an acceptance of the potentials of our existence.
"How can we make our own priorities without a foundation? How can we know what is important and what we would find meaningful?"
The foundation for our priorities comes from our experiences and from our reason (or mind or consciousness, name it as you like). This is a very different step from the last 800 years, where religion provided societies and cultures with a shared moral foundation. We've all had different experiences and we all have different capacities and types of reason, and these fundamental differences will lead to a varied culture with different moral systems. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but this does allow religion to continue playing a role in our lives in the future - our spiritual leaders can provide well-reasoned moral foundations that can be shared among those who accept them. We can all, even now, follow an established faith or develop our own. In my experience, people willing to honestly devote thought and time to the development of their own systems generally come to share principles found across religions. This indicates a shared value system inherent in all of us: that is, these values are part of the experience of being human. The source of this shared humanity isn't material for this post, but author Joseph Campbell has a lot to say about similarities between cultural moral foundations in a number of his books (and in his Power of Myth interviews).
So if we decide to look within to find our priorities, how exactly do we do that? How can we know what is important to us? Unfortunately, that's a question I still don't have an answer for. We may all have to find our own personal solutions.
We use our priorities when we make decisions in life. We look within for answers, and we use our priorities to guide us. For me, my moral priorities come from a desire to live a life that I can be proud of. I want to be able to say, "Given what I knew when I made a decision, I'm not ashamed of the choices I made". I've tried not to shirk the burden of increasing what I know so that as my life continues I can make better informed decisions. It seems I'm always learning (whether I try to or not) and it's important to use our new knowledge to re-evaluate our priorities.
Let me finish by saying that it's not necessarily better to develop your own moral system. People have devoted their lives to this, and many religions have been founded from the teachings of these individuals. A wholehearted commitment to follow the moral framework laid out in a holy book that appeals to you is just as valid as developing your own. (The book Siddhartha by Herman Hesse is a fictional work on this topic)
"Well, we're still going to die, and nothing that we do is going to matter after that. Why bother with all this?"
Yes, we're going to die. It's possible that once we die, there's nothing more. Why should we bother troubling ourselves with all of this?
The simple truth is...with awareness, it's not an issue we can ignore. Once we recognize the power we have over our own life, I don't believe we can live a contented life ignoring that fact. In essence, we're not "troubling ourselves with all of this", instead we're going down the only path that can allow us to be truly happy in our existence here. A blissful ignorance is no longer possible with the recognition of personal power.
And that, really, is why it's worth bothering. Whether or not we have an afterlife is irrelevant to our time here: all we can do is make the most of our time on earth. Ultimately, we all define how to do that in our own way.
As I mentioned earlier, my answer to making the most of our time means living a life I'm proud of - not because of the pride itself, but rather the deep-seated contentedness and happiness that comes from a life well-lived.
Have you found your answer?
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