Love, Work, and Religion

Well, it's Memorial Day '07. You all know what that means - time for my once-per-decade triple blog post! I'm not one for excessive fanfare and hype, so let's roll right into things.

- Love -

I think that perhaps I mis-portray my feelings on love to those geographically close to me. I've got a set of Winter Sonata calendar pages hanging up in my room and I end up watching cheesy Asian romance drama with my younger brother from time to time, and perhaps these actions imply some acceptance or agreement with the type of love most commonly portrayed in these dramas.

Well, I hereby renounce any faith or acceptance of said love-view. It's not only that I don't have faith, I am disgusted and I actively dislike the portrayal of love in these "love stories". A friend asked me last night what I thought about the idea of pursuit: "Is it a guy's responsibility to chase after a girl? Do you think he should keep try-". I rudely cut him off mid-sentence to start a rant similar to what you find below.

Asian drama is a little worse than American pop culture, but there is a serious problem with how love is portrayed in the media. It raises false expectations and I think promotes what is already a fairly high divorce rate. First I'll start with "the pursuit", most often displayed in Asian drama.

Oh god, I don't want to explain. Let me just say...men should have no responsibilities (in starting a relationship) that women do not have. It's time to move on from the archaic notions of fixed roles. It's not romantic or endearing to continue trying to "win a girl" who's not interested, it's wrong. Personally, if a woman wants to be coy or to play games to test my interest, I'm not willing to waste my time. Then again, I do spend a lot of time single.

More important is the portrayal of limerency (it's ironic and telling that this word has worked it's way into my everyday speech. Commit the idea to memory)as an example of lasting love and of true love across all forms of media. Love isn't and can't be a source of eternal uninterrupted happiness, and love doesn't make you blind to your partner's faults or problems.

I believe in love, but only in the sense that I believe we all define love for ourselves, and I choose to define it in the realm of what I believe is possible. I've got a simple indicator for what I believe to be a positive relationship, a love barometer if you will. Is your life better or worse because the other person is in it? Even more simply, are you made more or less happy because of the fact the other person is involved in your life?

I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but you have to be somewhat selfish. If the relationship is making your life worse, it's not a good relationship. It's difficult to explain (and beyond the scope of this blog post)...but selfishness can be a virtue. For additional reading, I suppose you could check out this. The idea of selfishness as a virtue is not just a Randian/objectivist idea though, and I would say that I have a slightly different take on it. Regardless, it's a decent introductory text.

- Work -

I'll likely be starting a very busy schedule at the end of June. All my current work and the standard 40 hour/week job as well (I'll be doing 6 months of on site contract work). I wonder where I'll find time for other important things in life, with such a busy schedule. I suppose I'm just thinking about how I'll probably be very tired, and it's hard to focus or to want to read or write in those scenarios. I think what brought the worry to the forefront of my mind was a statistic I overheard that the average American watches 4 hours of TV/day. First...holy crap. Second...I suppose I can understand. Why not relax after spending a day at work?

Anyway, I'm certainly not going to start with TV...but we'll see how I do with a different life arrangement. Wish me luck.

- Religion -

Return to spirituality. Forget about religion...because it is not good for you. Understand that in order for organized religion to succeed, it has to make people believe they need it. In order for people to put faith in something else, they must first lose faith in themselves. so the first task of organized religion is to make you lose faith in yourself. The second task is to make you see that it has the answers you do not. And the third and most important task is to make you accept its answers without questions.

If you question, you start to think! If you think, you start to go back to that Source Within. Religion can't have you do that, because you're liable to come up with an answer different from what it has contrived. So religion must make you doubt your Self; must make you doubt your own ability to think straight.

...

So many of your men are just like your nations. Power hungry. They do not like to share power, merely exercise it. And they have constructed the same kind of God. A power hungry God. A god who does not like to share power but merely exercise it. "Yet I tell you this: God's greatest gift is the sharing of God's power.

God would have you be like himself.


From Conversations with God, Book 2
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I don't know that I believe in a God - certainly not in an interventionist God who interacts with the world with some kind of supreme power and unknown agenda. What I like about this passage is the power given to the self. What I like is the concept that it's time we grow up, stop doubting ourselves, and trust that we can find important answers within. I like the recognition that we are powerful beings with the capacity to control our own lives. I like the recognition that we are not children who must look to their father for answers, but adults who can find answers within.