Lately

It's been a while. No excuses.

Things are different - work is time-consuming, almost more than I can handle. I've been trying to step out into the dating world. One would think the timing wasn't right, given my new roommate, but it seems I'd like the time to be right. I'm making an effort, which is new.

It's funny, as I've been thinking that to truly enjoy relaxation you have to feel that you deserve it - that is, you have to feel you've put out effort worthy of the relaxation. Thus far, it doesn't seem to be the case. It makes me wonder.

My mom thinks my social life is extremely active. I've never thought of it as such...it's interesting to have an outside perspective. I've been a little busier than usual lately - going out with friends, making plans on weeknights, etc. - but really not significantly more so. I suppose when you live out in the country, you're somewhat forced to have a lot more time for yourself. At times, I feel a little bit like maintaining my friendships is almost a burden - that I'd just like to have more time for myself. Having that time to myself isn't as rewarding as you'd think, though. I really don't have as many things that I'd like to accomplish on my own as I sometimes think.

I'm almost childishly excited about my planned Europe trip. The dates are mostly set - August 1-15 with an extra week either at the beginning or the end. My German is getting better, I can speak conversationally if the conversationalist is very patient and forgiving, and willing to wait while I look up the occasional noun/verb. I'll just keep working at it. I bought some poetry by Rainier Maria Rilke as practice/indulgence, and it's very enjoyable. If you like poetry, consider checking the poet out. He's quite well-known.

I've read a lot lately, depending on your definition of a lot. I was looking at my book blog recently and realized I'm averaging about a book every week. That's really not too shabby, especially when you consider some of the books aren't just casual reading.

I'm part of a book club, and this month's book is an aptly-named monster, "The Terror" by Dan Simmons. If I read it, it's going to be one of the longest single pieces of literature I've ever read - on par with Atlas Shrugged or Stephen King's It. If we were to count series I'm sure that'd open up a whole new competition - the Ender's Game series had some length, as does the Harry Potter set. Anyway.

Some friends and I get together to play Rock Band once in a while - I've played 3 times now. It's really a strong idea for a game - it's for 4 players, and everyone takes a different role in a band (guitar, bass, drums, vocals) as you perform songs. My only complaint stems from my experience with the DDR series of games - I wish the timing was a little more strict. The game doesn't grade on timing at all...unless of course you're way off, in which case you get no credit for the note. But it's an all or nothing thing.

I'm writing less music...and reading more. The more I learn though, the more intimidated I am, and the more I feel like my music is just a sort of childish tinkering in comparison with the great composers. It's difficult to come to terms with the fact that realistically, that level of music mastery is out of my reach unless I'm interested in devoting my life to music...and I'm not. It makes the whole practice of composition seem a little inane, though. Maybe it's immature or unwise to think that because I can't be the best at something, I shouldn't bother doing it at all - I just know that I feel a little discouraged.

Well, that sums up this rather apathetic holiday post. I don't know when I'll post again...spending copious amounts of time on the computer every day (work) doesn't exactly motivate me to want to spend my leisure time here as well. I am still thinking though - don't worry, reader.